Christmas Gifts

This might have been the best Christmas ever. My girls did not receive a gross amount of STUFF from grandparents piling crap onto crap in a race to see who could give more gifts. We only bought the Wii and four dress up dresses for Riley. For a few moments I was a tad nervous and worried about the Spartan nature of things then I realized that the squealing was a delightful thankful squealing and not a groaning. The girls were Happy. Happy with very little? Finley said she was thankful not to have so much little weird “crappy” stuff to unpack, unwrap put away. It has also been our policy for years that what comes in goes out, so the girls would get two bags of stuff they would have to find two bags of stuff to donate, so they are pleased to skip it. My mother and father generally spent a grand on my kids. Mom is dead. Dad gave Finley two DS games and Riley got a Barbie and a DVD, which rocks by the way.

The opening sentence to this had the word might in it for a reason. It would have been perfect if my dad weren’t an emotional retard. He can’t help it. I think he means well but he came over with a box and told John not to give it to me right then because it would make me cry. Something that is going to make you cry is not a gift. He gave me a bunch of old photo albums, none with much to do about me. But with photos of mom and my other two step dads. Not what I want to see on Christmas morning. My mom died on Dec 2. He keeps giving me very emotional stuff like that for Christmas and some stuff that my mother left me in her will that I sort of already feel like is mine. So it is weird. I am not mad – it is just exhausting. I’d rather he bring everything he is ever going to give me of my mother’s at once and just let me grieve already. I feel like I have to constantly brace myself for what’s coming. I can’t relax. It makes everything hard.